Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

This is what I envision our baby girl is going to be like (all diva) seeing that she's making a fashionably late appearance into this world.*

But this is what I envision our baby girl is going to look like (geeky) seeing that she will possess genes from both me and Josh.**

Yeah, I'm going mad. I've been popping up in bed awfully early for the past few weeks in hopes of greeting a slimy coneheaded baby girl, but gosh, it's three days past her ETA, and still no contractions (false o real). Friends and family (and strangers, for that matter) keep asking, "Is the baby here yet?!?" But my answer (and Josh's answer) up until now has been a resounding, disappointing "NO." I'd be lying if I were to say I weren't disappointed that the kiddo didn't arrive early or on time on Christmas Day. It's not that I mind housing her. But with each day that passes, she's just getting more and more massive. Kiddo needs to check out of my "Four Seasons womb" (as my friend Rebecca likes to put it) asap because I'm going to feel like such a failure if I can't squeeze her out.***

I really do understand that good things come to those who wait, but must le cub and I start greying before our baby girl's appearance?****

Baby girl, everyone's excited to meet you. We promise you'll love life outside of the womb. There's so much to do and so much to see.

See? Yes, well... I truly hope we get to meet sooner than later, kiddo. You have no idea...*****

* Caption that would best enhance this pic: "Have your people call my people."
** Childhood prereq. Hair cut that consumes over half of their head.
*** I'm really proud when I make a big doo doo. For some odd reason, I've decided on my own that giving birth to a baby is going to be similar, and I'd love to experience the satisfaction of "dropping off" a package as large as an infant. I know. I'm demented.
**** A somewhat irrelevant side note: Old folks in love make me happy. And sad.
***** All photos plucked from Pinterest or FFFFOUND.

Saturday, December 24, 2011


May Your Days Be Merry & Bright...

Friday, December 23, 2011

Performance Anxiety

With only 2 days to go til her eta, I think the womb raider is experiencing performance anxiety.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Growing Pains

Went in for a check-up with the doc yesterday afternoon, and it's starting to look like our baby girl may be arriving later than her ETA of Christmas Day. With each day that she chooses to delay her appearance, her cranium's just getting bigger and bigger! Dammit. She's probably gleefully polishing her massive head this very moment. You know. The head I have to squeeze out of my little bits? Am starting to feel anxious. Perhaps it's time to start reasoning with her. Extra presents if she arrives early or on-time. Lump of coal if she arrives late?

It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Christmas

Our 7 foot tall noble fir. Smells so good...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Womb Raiders

Olive consults Avery on the subject of post-birth head shape.
Olive: Avery, will my vajayjay-squeezed cone head ever go away?
Avery: Olive, I was born with a unibrow and hair on my back. Now look at me! Have your people call my people.

When Life Gives You Lemons

According to my friend Robby Puro, the difficulty and pain involved in squeezing a full-sized baby out of one's female bits can best be equated to squeezing a Sunkist lemon out of a dude's urethra. It's stuff like this that keeps me up at night...


I could Pinterest all day. That's how I found this panda. May be in need of an intervention...

Follow me HERE. *teehee*

Occupy Movement

Have been trying to entice the face of the Occupy movement in my belly to surrender herself in time for the holidays. Marching about with a 36 lb beer belly is exhausting. Does pineapple work?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

He Knows When You Are Sleeping

He knows when you're awake... (creepy much?!)

Christmas tree is all decorated, and my favorite ornament of 2011 is our one-balled santa. Tah-dah! I rescued him from the Pasadena Rose Bowl Flea...

Beans' favorite ornament is our booby santa. Also rescued from the Rose Bowl Flea. Needless to say, le hubby and I are collectors of homely ornaments.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Hot Bath

Beans has been an angel in the presence of my in-laws. We had warned him that Grandpa Huang would turn him into soup if he weren't well-behaved. Goofy pup took our advice to heart and has steered clear of the pot. Whew.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?


Doodling while on maternity leave!


Spotted at the Rose Bowl Flea.



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