Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Identity Crisis

Out of respect for other people's eyes, I actually put thought into what I put on in the morning. Like most people, I don't enjoy looking like poo. But my intentions are often lost in my execution, resulting in me leaving the house in kaftans, silk pajama pants, overalls and muumuus. The 30s are a confusing time for me - style-wise. I can't decide who I want to be, so I end up looking "Bohemian Lumberjack Waiter Gone Nautical." Hmm.

My father thinks everyone should adopt a uniform of navy and gray. I took this piece of advice back in college and was mistaken for a sales person while browsing goods at Barneys. My mother thinks one can never go wrong in a twinset. A lovely fashion tip if I were trying to blend in with the senior citizen set. And if the nugget could speak, she'd probably suggest a pink tutu.

As the old saying goes, it's what's on the inside that counts, but fact of the matter is, how I look on the outside affects how I feel on the inside. Lately, my insides have been feeling confused. And so, next week, my always-impeccably-dressed friend Sophie is coming over to help curate my closet over Thai take-out."* Every item that hasn't been worn in the past two years is being donated to Vietnam Veterans of America and Thredup no matter how beautiful the item looks on the rack or how much I remember paying for it. If it looks like shit on, it's gone.**

Clients of mine hire me to renovate and design their homes because I (supposedly) have acceptable taste and good judgment. I offer suggestions regarding what to salvage and what to demolish, and *gasp* they listen. They trust that I have a vision they don't, and their cooperation makes the final outcome that much better. Next Tuesday, I will trust Sophie and her vision. I just hope she doesn't toss my collection of East sider appropriate flannel and hole-covered jeans...

* Yes, I actually used the word "curate" as if to suggest my closet has items worth curating. I think I just "pulled a Paltrow" - as in Gwyneth Paltrow. Don't hate.
** Mantra for the remains of 2013.


kimberlina said...

this. i must do this.

.......... said...

Way easier said than done. I began going through my drawers last night and gave up when I saw Top Chef Masters come on. HOPELESS. I think I will just wear gray sweatsuits for life.

Jenny Sherman said...

i think you always look fabulous, but i know you will emerge from your closet makeover even MORE fabulous!

Madge said...

Oh, I could never hate you! Or Gwynnie. I wish more people pulled Paltrows.


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