Monday, March 10, 2014


"Bliss only finds those with open arms."
If that's the case, Olive's odds for finding bliss are pretty darn good.
(Source of quote unknown. I found it via Pinterest)

The distance between my under-boob and top-of-crotch is a short one. So babies I incubate have nowhere to grow and stretch but outwards. As you can imagine, I am looking mighty deformed as of late. I am a pinata on legs, sporting a belly button that couldn't possibly protrude further. I actually have nightmares that my belly button knot would unravel itself and all my innards (amniotic fluids and Baby Quinn included) would gush out of the opening. Too graphic? Okay. Sometimes I overshare.

Manatee bod aside, all is well. I'm feeling as good as I can feel for a 26 week pregnant mama. Ordered a pair of ridiculous Chloe boots I've been eyeing since last summer's trip to London and made a trip to Destination Maternity after work only to haul home a dress and stretchy denim. Figure having new shoes and clothes will make me feel a sliver more attractive than I did last weekend. I had helped throw a baby shower for a friend and ended up wearing my Sunday best - tapered sweat pants. Quite frankly, they were all that I could find that (1) were clean, and (2) fit. Since I'm no supermodel, the sweats actually looked like sweats, and well, let's just say I spent a good deal of time seated in hopes of hiding the business below my massive waistline.

It helps to keep busy during the pregnancy countdown. Appeasing pregnancy snack attacks* and work aside, I've been on pee-pee watch. Olive is two years and two months to date, and we've been potty-training. She's been really good about alerting this old Ma about her need to potty, but there are the occasional "uh-oh"s. Which leads me to share the following piece of valuable info I learned from the almighty Internet with fellow brave Mamas experiencing accidents:

How to Remove Urine Stains from Upholstery
Mix white vinegar + water. Dab stain.
Mix baking powder + water. Dab stain.
Vacuum the stain.
Wait for the stain to dry. Pray while doing so.

Miss Uh-Oh looking like she's just Uh-Oh'd and Le Huz

* Avocado toast. Haagen Daz Peanut Butter Pie ice cream. Chicken Pad Thai. Um, yes, I plan to work out like a mad person two months after delivering Baby Quinn.

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