The Fear

I've developed a fear of white SUVs.

Left the house for a Subway sandwich and was nearly run over by a white SUV filled with giggly Mexican chicks. I actually dodged the speeding vehicle... and as I screamed out of fear, I heard the girls laughing and going, "OMIGOSH, WE ALMOST HIT THAT LITTLE ASIAN GIRL! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" Seriously, I nearly ran after the vehicle to fuckin' key it, but my good conscience stopped me from doing so... I regret the self-restraint.

I could've died HUNGRY... that's what pissed me off the most!